We're all about clearing up sex-related misconceptions, and here's an important one to dismantle: that the person doing the penetrating runs the show in the bedroom. Not so. In fact, there's a whole host of female-dominant sex positions that put you in the driver's seat, giving you control over the mood, pacing, and most importantly, the orgasmic pleasure you feel.
Being in charge means you take the initiative, which is empowering. It's ideal for when you're in the mood to be the boss, or if your orgasm doesn’t necessarily happen during typical penis (or vibrator) in vagina action. Plus, it gives your partner the chance to submit to your desires—which can be a turn-on of its own, so long as they're up for that role.
Next time you want to take the lead, try the 5 best female dominant sex positions, all recommended by a sex expert.
It’s an oldie but a goodie, especially if you want to be in control but don’t feel especially flexy or high-energy. “Being on top can really give you a sense of power, and it lets you control the rhythm and depth,” Lisa Finn, a sex educator at sex toy emporium Babeland, tells Health.
While your partner lies down on the floor or mattress, place your knees on either side of their hips. Lower your body at the speed and pace you're comfortable with until they’re as deep as you like. Once you're ready to ride, you can move up and down, back and forth, or just stay mostly still in an upright position and rotate in tight circles, reaching down with your free hand to give your clitoris the action it needs. (Or better yet, telling—or even ordering—your partner to do it.)
This go-to position for deep penetration may not seem female dominant, but trust us, you're taking the reins with this variation. If you kneel at the edge of the bed and your partner stands behind you, you’re in perfect position to rock your hips back into their body to take charge of the thrusting, Finn explains. Tell your partner not to grind or move at all; it's all about you using your body to squeeze and stroke you both to orgasm.
Another amazing advantage to this position: Your G-spot, the spongy erogenous zone about a half-inch up the front anterior wall of your vagina, is super accessible. Angling your hips so your partner can go in deep means you'll score G-spot stimulation with every thrust, says Finn. Hello, blended orgasm.
Koala bear missionary
Yep, it’s possible to be on your back and be in charge. Get into the traditional missionary position, and then wrap your legs around your partner’s hips. Use your legs and hands to push your partner as deep and close as you want them to be. Once you've found the right depth, take control over the rhythm and motions. Squeezing your pelvic floor muscles as you thrust will force your vagina to contract tightly, which increases sensation for both of you.
Once your partner is in place inside you, use your own hands to play with their hair, squeeze their butt, scratch their back, or pleasure yourself.
Have your partner lie on the bed on their back with their head on a pillow against the headboard. Climb on top of them facing the headboard and guide them between your legs. Holding the headboard or placing your palms against the wall behind it for leverage, drape your body over your partner. Then grind, gyrate, and rock your way to orgasm.
For extra stimulation, have your partner use their hands to play with your breasts or stroke your clitoris. Your body will be stretched out above theirs, dominating them, and they can easily touch or tease you with their fingers or lips.
Straddling your partner’s face so that they can pleasure you with their mouth is the perfect way to stay in control without having to exert much energy. As they use their tongue, lips, and fingers to take you closer to orgasm, you can grind your hips into their face to show your enthusiasm (and appreciation) or hold their hair and steer them to stimulate you faster or slower, or harder or softer. You're in charge, so take full advantage of your powers.
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